Eight signs which should tip a CEO off that a valued team member is about to resign

1. You sit opposite each other for two months and the employee uses the phones as a paper weight rather than as a tool for making money.

2. Your pride in appearence is so bad that that trendy stubble you always have grows to the point where you look like you should be in shackles and an orange jumpsuit (one advantage of this is you ALWAYS get a seat on the tube).

3. You disappear for 4 hours meetings during the day. You go without a tie on. And the brown shoes you travelled around Asia in. And a tracksuit top on. Covering the shirt you haven't bothered to iron. Or wash.

4. IT calls CEO up to query why out of every computer in the UK, said employees' computer has broken the record for most hits on the Daily Mail's website in one day.

5. Office hours are until 6.30. From 5.59 onwards said employee responds to every request for assistance with "sorry bud, I am swamped". And then leaves at 6:30.

6. When said employee is confront about lack of activity he chuckles and suggests CEO and employee laugh at this over a drink at the Christmas when said employee is top biller in the company. Employee needs to find £500,000 in three months to achieve this. However, without using a telephone there is more chance of coverting his excel spreadsheet into bread and feeding the 5000.

7. Junior team members start to ask the payroll assistant rather than their manager how to close a specific deal. Payroll assistant sits next to CEO.

8. This is the biggest giveaway. Employee updates his blog about resigning at his desk and chuckles every point written (at least someone finds it funny....)

Rocky 6

Rocky 6 was the best film of the series. Not because of the excellent writing or the standout acting (how Stallone missed out on his second (yes, SECOND!) Oscar is beyond me. And yes, the baddies in the previous films were better (Clubber Lang - amazing!, Ivan Drago - scary!, Apollo Creed - perfection!, Tommy Gun - currently homeless and suffering from HIV, may be worth giving my kids crazy names just to be safe...).

The reason why Rocky 6 was so good was because nobody gave Rocky 6 a chance. Forget the character and focus on the film. The studios didn't back it, the fans didn't believe in it and I doubt even Stallone's mother gave it much hope and she can tell the future (according to her website). But one man believed it would be a classic. One man had complete faith in the script. One man sat back while others mocked and knew that the moment the film was released a new generation of fans would be born. And that man was me.

I am Rocky circa two thirds into Rocky 5. I am 30 years old and according to the NHS BMI chart I am morbidly obese. I smoke. A lot. I like my food. I like my sofa. I really like my Playstation. I go to work and pretend to be busy, I watch the clock and come home. I sit and talk with my wife (the highlight of my day - she reads my blog). I watch TV. I fall asleep. I don't earn a huge amount of money and don't lead an extravagant life.

The thing is it shouldn’t really have been this way. I am smart. I am very well educated. I worked at one of the biggest law firms in the world. I have travelled the globe. I am good at pretty much anything I put my mind to. I am incredibly determined. As my earlier Facebook photos will suggest, I used to be ridiculously, ridiculously, ridiculously good looking. And when I was 7 years old my mother was told by her fortune teller that I would grow up to be a very successful businessman. You can't deny these facts. Ok, maybe that I was ridiculously good-looking although to be fair, my mother did say I was the best looking guy at school so I don't know what to believe.

I digress.

From today, we move forward into the next part of the Rocky series. My business, a recruitment business, is set to launch in a months’ time (I still need to give notice at my current place). It will be a success without a shadow of a doubt (I have faith in that fortune teller..). And in April 2012 I will be completing the Marathon in sub-3hrs 30mins.

It will be achieved  in the good ol' fashioned Rocky way. Through hard work, commitment, self belief, determination, the love of a good woman, slow motion training montages, chasing chickens around, beating the token black bad guy, pounding meat, going to Russia, running up mountains in trainers, and downing lots and lots of raw eggs. To quote another classic celluloid character - this time next year, we'll be millionaires (and no longer obese!).

Now where is my cannoli and fag.....

The first entry....

Why have I started writing this blog...? In most cases, I think people write blogs as the ultimate sign of vanity "ohhhh, look at me, follow my life...blah blah blah". I have decided to write my blog for that exact reason.

In all seriousness, I have committed to two major things in the next 12 months - running a marathon and starting a business so my mum can finally tell people I am a managing director (see what I did with the name on this blog now...). This blog will be a way for me to track my performance, potentially drive me on at times and hopefully lead to me receiving a three-book publishing deal.

In doing these two things I am breaking one of my golden rules - one year/one committment. 2009 I committed to getting a new job. 2010 I committed (and successfully succeded) in getting married and so here I am breaking a golden rule in 2011. Fingers crossed it ends in a million pound empire and a respectable marathon time but if it doesn't, I am looking forward to having a little fun along the way.....